D&D Nerd.com

For a while now, I’ve been pondering on doing a review on JohnChow.com, according to his rules. However, since I focus on D&D, I never could think of how I could do a review of his site. Then, one night, it hit me. Why not make a Monster Manual entry of John Chow?

Ever since discovering it, I’ve enjoyed most of John Chow’s posts. The only ones I hardly bother reading are those related to cars, since I just don’t care about cars anyway. His investing tips intrigue me, though I have yet to try them. And his posts on blogging, and making money from it, can be inspiring. In fact, this blog is the result of the inspiration I’ve gotten from John Chow, amongst a few others.

So, without further ado, here is a Monster Manual entry for John Chow! Please tell me what you think.

John Chow

Human, 127th-Level Dot Com Mogul
Medium Humanoid (Human)
Hit Dice: 127d8 (1012hp)
Speed: 30ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 11, touch 11, flat-footed 10
Base Attack/Grapple: +63/+64
Attack: Mobile Office +66 melee (1d10+1/x2) or
Pen +66 ranged (1d4+1/x2)
Full Attack: Mobile Office x5 +66 melee (1d10+1/x2) or
Pen x5 +66 ranged (1d4+1/x2)
Space/Reach: 5ft./5ft.
Special Attacks: Summon commentators, Ramble
Special Qualities: Locate Dining, Locate Car, Procure Tech
Saves: Fort +29, Ref +30, Will +38
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 12, Con 10, Int 16, Wis 16, Cha 16
Skills: Craft (Website) +130, Diplomacy +130, Gather Information +130, Knowledge (The Net) +130, Knowledge (Blogging) +130, Knowledge (Financial) +130, Knowledge (Tech) +130, Knowledge (Cars) +130, Knowledge (Fine Dining) +130, Profession (Blogger) +130
Feats: Too damn many to list…
Environment: World Wide Web, Convention Locations
Organization: Solitary, Pair, Gang, Convention
Challenge Rating: 127
Treasure: $3,440.66 (as of January 2007)
Alignment: Root of All Evil
Advancement: By character class
Level Adjustment: +0

A damn fine person, friend of the community, Ultimate Fighting Championship contestant, member of the Save the Whales Foundation, the man who controls the black market on baby seal pelts and member of the “probably yo’ daddy” foundation.

Google’s #1 Dot Com Mogul. Master of The TechZone and TTZ Media Network. Creator of some of the fastest computers the world have ever seen.

Consider yourself blessed to be reading his blog. (Source: Who is John Chow?)

John Chow is one of the greater Dot Com Moguls of our time. Not only has he crafted the successful The Tech Zone, he has crafted additional sites, including his personal one at JohnChow.com. On his personal blog, you’ll often find ramblings about the net, technology, how to make money (not just from the net, but in other ways as well), cars, and fine dining. While the cars and fine dining may deviate from what seems to be the main focus of his blog, they can still make for interesting reading, provided the reader has interest in cars or fine dining. However, this is easily offset by John Chow’s posting frequency, so any post that may be deemed as boring by a reader can easily be forgiven when new content suddenly appears during the same day.

John Chow, despite being the Root of all Evil (as can be witnessed in a video here), has a love of sharing his success with his loyal readers. This can sometimes inspire some of his readers to go on and try to become moguls themselves. Where this entry is located is one such attempt.

Combat

Summon Commentators (Sp): Several times per day (it is still unsure how many times he can do this per day), John Chow can automatically summon one or more commentator. The commentators summoned are normally his biggest fans, and will do all they can to defend him. They will even get themselves banned from Digg.com in his defense. This ability is the equivalent of an 8-th level spell.

Ramble (Ex): John Chow may make a new post to his blog. This causes all creatures near him to be dazed for 5 rounds, and unable to attack. Afterwards, they may have a strong urge to peruse JohnChow.com.

Locate Dining (Ex): Once per day, John Chow can locate a restaurant. This restaurant will provide great food and wine, which will provide enough nutrition for one whole day. Normally, John Chow will review his dining experience after using this ability. This has a possibility of inducing a Sleep spell-like effect that lasts one round on some readers, particularly those who have no interest in fine dining.

Locate Car (Ex): Once per day, John Chow can locate a car. This car will normally be some sort of power car, and have sleek curves. Normally, John Chow will review his experience with the car, regardless of whether he was able to drive it or not. This has a possibility of inducing a Sleep spell-like effect that lasts one round on some readers, particularly those who have no interest in cars.

Procure Tech (Ex): John Chow emanates an aura (area of effect is still unknown) that causes people to give him stuff for free, typically of technological origin. He may use his free tech stuff for himself, which might invoke the Ramble special attack (in the form of a review). Also, he may give the free stuff away to his readers.